We hire only the smartest and brightest!

Receptionist: My eyes are so dry.
Me: I have some Visine if you need it.
Receptionist: Why would I need Vasiline for my eyes.
Me: No, not Vasailine, Visine.
Receptionist: Why would I need that? I'm not constipated.
Me: I don't think we are thinking of the same thing.

Posted 3 months ago & Filed under work, real life, me what the fuck, 1 note

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About:

This is my blog which is an extension of me. Who am I? I'm a 27yo living in Houston. When I get cut I bleed red. I often ponder about what the future may hold for me but I do not worry about it. I love cars. I like to write poems, and lyrics. I will eventually learn how to play my favorite instrument, the cello. I like driving just to drive; it clears my mind. I dance only in my car. I dislike raising my voice. I have been told that I have a charming personality. I like to use big words. I enjoy making people laugh. I tend to laugh at myself the most. I enjoy art in all aspects and all genres of music. I am young but I have an old soul. I like tattoos. I like sushi and fried okra, just not at the same time. I have a watch addiction/collection. I like zombies. I like robots. ZombieRobots scare the hell out of me. I am Matthew. [Disclaimer: Most of the photos I post are not my own. Nor, am I trying to claim that they are. All photos have their respective credit attached via link on the bottom, or, by clicking the actual picture. If you are the owner of a photo and would like it to be removed, please, just email me.]
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